Rod
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Rod" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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04:34 am
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Now ya see it . . . now ya don't.
So, some of you may know that I went back to work in February for the Texas Independent Automobile Dealers Association, TIADA, which is an association of used-up car dealers. It seemed like the perfect job for me: traveling around the state, schmoozing car dealers. Well, it was . . . until I got fired Monday by the weaselly little (and I mean little!) executive director because "it just wasn't working out." This whiny little (did I mention he is teeny tiny?) shithead had recently taken to repeatedly calling me on the carpet for not updating the office Outlook calendar with my appointments, even though I had been doing it . . . then seemed to take offense when I asked him to back off the calendar lectures unless they were valid. I figured things had gone south when I never received another communication from him after my "calendar lecture" email (a whole week of silence), so last week I rented a van with the company credit card for my scheduled travel to San Antonio and Houston instead of using my own truck and then gave away all of my TIADA-labeled crap at a trade show in Houston Friday evening. People who'd never even heard of TIADA ended up with hats and shirts and mugs just for being in the same hotel ballroom as me.
And I guess my intuition was right because Monday morning he cut me loose (strangely enough, right before my 90 day probationary period was up and I'd start to have health insurance and sick pay and all those "luxuries" of full employment). So let me just say this to TIADA: Fuck You! You shit-eating little fuckheads!
OK, I feel better now. I think it's time for a vacation! Working is really over-rated, kids.
But let me add just one more little message to TIADA before I sign off: hey, FUCK YOU! Oh yeah, you heard me . . . FUCK YOU!
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01:21 am
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Austin music
So, Austin just might really, really be the Live Music Capital of the World. This weekend, the Knitters (featuring John Doe and Exene of the band X) were in town for a couple of nights at the Continental Club. Saturday they were joined by the Hacienda Brothers (with Dave Gonzales of the Paladins) and then tonight they played right before the Continental's Sunday night regulars, Heybale. I went both nights and it was great to see Rachel and Nathan on Saturday and Clare and Ed this evening.
The Knitters were wonderful both nights, but really pumped it out for the Sunday show. I stuck around for about 45 minutes of Heybale, but then as I was leaving a friend mentioned that she thought she saw country superstar, Brad Paisley, hanging around in back. As we waited to see what Paisley was up to, Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top walked past me. Well, both Brad Paisley and Billy Gibbons grabbed guitars and joined Heybale on stage and tore it up! Now I'm no fan of pop country music, but that Brad Paisley can play some mean guitar. If James McMurtry who was in the audience had joined in I think my head would have exploded. And for the record Heybale's Redd Volkaert is as good a guitar player as it gets!
Anyone looking for quality entertainment this week can see my good friends Shotgun Party at the Continental on Wednesday (6:30 happy hour - free) and my guys, the Bruce Smith Band, at Momo's on Thursday (11-ish, not free, but I'll guest list ya with a little notice).
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03:45 am
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"I feel like a stripper!"
So that's my response to the pomegranate vodka (Pearl?) and Red Bull shot that Heidi (Lacey) served us at Jackalope tonight.
Chuque and I decided we needed more Flametrick love, so we ventured to the hamlet of San Marcos to see the Subs at Lucy's. A lovely time was had by all and we enjoyed much quality time with the band, Cheerleaders, and Lefty's very cool Las Vegas girlfriend. Lucy's is a pretty nice club with good sound, but closes at midnight, so we motored back to Big A and drifted from Beerland to Elysium to Jackalope as the winds of fortune guided us. We were forced to consume beer and miscellaneous shots (Bullit, Crown Royal, Pearl/Red Bull), resulting in stumbling, drunken behavior (of which we are suitably ashamed), but safely navigated our way home to our respective domiciles.
I am covered in glitter, courtesy of Sindee Lux, and drunk, courtesy of Chuque and Lacey, so all is well!
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03:53 am
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Oh Lord, why hast Thou forsaken us?
So, I wander downtown this evening to see the lovely and talented Box Spring Hogs at the lovely and talented Beerland (La Tierra del Cerveza as their new t-shirt declares) at the early hour of 8:00 PM. No parking available anywhere near the place. Why, you ask? . . . Because fucking Daughtry is at Stubb's amphitheater. What's a Daughtry, you ask? Is it a new hipper than hip band that only the super cool cutting-edge folks know about? Is it that singer from The Who? Well, in a word NO, . . . it's the freakin' band of some American Idol guy who didn't even make the finals. It's the band of the guy who lists his favorite female musical artist as "Kelly Clarkson" and his favorite male artist as "Rob Thomas!"
Jesus H. Christ! We're the Live Music Capital of the World and some American Idol loser sells out the place where the Cramps and Joan Jett, and Social Distortion play! WTF!!!!! And he's even got a damn tour bus! Granted, this Daughtry is a handsome lad (in only the way a bald guy with a goatee can be! - I think you know what I mean: wink, wink!), but come on! This is surely a sign of the Apocalypse or at least a signal of the end of the American hegemony over the world of entertainment.
I weep for our very souls! I quake in fear of the vengeance our Lord will rain down upon us for desecrating His gift of Music! And I'm beginning to believe that Television is indeed the root of all evil (well, except for the fact that the L Word is on Showtime, and we all know that Lesbians + TV = GOOD!).
If anyone needs me this weekend I'll probably be in a nearby church with Reverend Rhiannon, slugging down some Holy Water, chasing it with Communion Wine, and praying for our Redemption.
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05:12 am
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Voyeur photo special!
Satan's Cheerleader, Lucky Dukes, exposed in the women's bathroom at Emo's on Halloween night!
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12:22 pm
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It's all about me at Halloween!
For those who missed it:
Hopefully some stage photos will surface soon! And just for the record, these shots don't really show my legs which if I do say so myself were quite fabulous! In fact I'm still wearing the fishnets as I type this!
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01:04 pm
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Friday the 13th Fun!
Hey kids, tonight at midnight, the Bruce Smith Band is headlining at the lovely Saxon Pub on South Lamar. It's just good old rock'n'roll, so come on out to join us and have a good time!
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02:51 am
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The week
What a fun week! Chuque and I drove to Dallas last Sunday to see the finals of the Dallas Derby Devils roller derby season (thanks, again, Katie and Andrew), then Wednesday went to see X, Rollins Band, and Riverboat Gamblers at Stubb's. This weekend I saw Chili Cold Blood and the Weary Boys Friday night at the Hole in the Wall, followed by the Flametrick Subs at Beerland Saturday while sneaking over to the Red-Eyed Fly to view the Legendary Shack Shakers (recommended!), then on Sunday Charley Horse (recommended!) and Supagroup at Emo's. That's almost too much entertainment for a simple country boy like me! Got to see plenty of friends including Ed and Clare, Mo and Grub, Chuque, Chris, Becky, Danny, Victor, Dave, Schuyler, Andrew and Katie, et al, and didn't have to pay to get into a single venue this weekend!!!!!!!! Clean living pays off!?!
This next week's hot tickets are the Hacienda Brothers and Dave Alvin at the Continental on Friday and the Weary Boys at the Continental Saturday. Hope to see ya there!
PS. I've taken a little break from beer drinking for the last couple of weeks, but I've managed to replace each beer I would have ordinarily had with a Bourbon and Coke, so I'm not so sure what I've accomplished. Wendy Wadd was looking pretty damn good to me this evening, so there might be a connection with my new drinking habits!
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01:35 am
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Travel
Well, I just returned from an impromptu trip to the Texas coast. I haven't really gone anywhere for the year and a half I've been working with the credit-challenged, so I figured a quick trip would be in order to recharge the batteries. And since you're my friends you get a few random observations at no extra charge:
(1) Rockport has the oldest population I've ever encountered. I was the hot, new young guy in town. I liked it! I could've scored bigtime if I'd brought more spare oxygen tanks with me.
(2) Gas is cheaper on the coast. Only $2.65 for regular. And it's sad that I can say "only $2.65" and mean it.
(3) Kayaking is the new windsurfing.
(4) Port Aransas may have the most cheesey surf/beach shops per capita in the US. And high prices, too. Just slap the word Billabong on a wall and watch the kids come running!
(5) Real estate prices are off the charts everywhere. Both Rockport and Port A featured numerous $500,000 - $750,000 houses for sale and condos averaged about $225,000.
(6) The new Texas Surf Museum in downtown Corpus Christi is terrific! Small, but well done, with a superb collection of old surfboards and memorabilia.
(7) Jesus is King of Cuero. . . according to a sign at the entrance to the town.
(8) The Presidio de Bahia in Goliad is very well preserved and quite moving. It's the site of the massacre of Colonel Fannin and his men during the Texas Revolution for any of you non-Texans out there.
(9) Ben White Blvd. in Austin, near my apartment, had by far the worst traffic on the whole trip.
(10) Thank God I checked my e-mail before leaving town and was able to carefully review the shocking nudie pics from our lake outing before they disappeared. Next year I'll get nekid and you can post the goddamn pictures anywhere you please. BTW I did save the offending shots and have posted them on my new pay-site: nakedwhitechickfloatinginlaketravisbutyoucantreallyseeanyofhernaughtybitscuzshesinthefuckingwater.com
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09:14 am
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Free at last!
Well, I just quit my job at the car lot a few minutes ago. The owner decided to jack with my pay plan after a slow sales month, so I decided that July would be a good time to take a vacation, unwind, and de-stress. I've got to admit that one and a half years of working with the credit-challenged has worn my ass down and I wasn't gonna get any time off anyway, so this is an opportunity not a setback (check with me in a few months if I can't find a job and remind me about the "opportunity" thing).
Now my biggest problem is figuring out where to travel: NYC, LA, Miami, Honolulu, Osaka, Amsterdam, London (I still have a quarter million frequent flyer miles with Continental from my days with Compaq, so anyplace is fair game). I'm open to suggestions and recommendations, so don't be shy (I have been to every major city in the US and Canada at least once, every US state except Alaska, and Paris, Lisbon, and Barcelona in Europe). Right now I'm leaning toward Japan, just because it's so out of my comfort zone that it ought to be pretty weird and interesting.
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12:08 pm
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The move is over!
It's official. I am now a full-time resident of the "04" having spent my entire Memorial Day weekend moving to my swank bachelor pad on trendy Manchaca Rd. This morning the sale of my old house closed and I'm done with it forever and ever (except that the woman who bought it wants me, if ya know what I mean, so I may have to go back!). Now all I have to do is unpack the 4,000 boxes (OK, that might be a slight exageration) and buy a couple of pieces of furniture to replace the old stuff I craigslisted. Once I've got everything put away I'll have a little open house, so we can party down and scare the neighbors!
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10:44 am
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He's back!
Hey there kids. I haven't updated in quite a while because I didn't really have anything significant to say, but I guess I do now. I've sold my palatial North Austin estate and am in the process of moving to "the 04" (has pretty much the same ring as "the OC" doesn't it?). I've got an apartment on Manchaca that I take possession of next week. This will be the first time in 20 years I've lived south of the river, so I'm looking forward to discovering the joys of a new 'hood. I hear the local cuisine is exquisite!
I am clearing out the old house and am selling lots of stuff to keep from moving it (and, of course, because I want all new stuff). It'll all hit craigslist next week, but if anyone is interested in any of the following let me know (cell phone:415-0280).
Here's a smattering of items:
Kenmore refrigerator (25 cf, side by side, icemaker, almond color)
Yard furniture (2 recliners, 2 chairs, 2 tables, beige metal, dark brown webbing on chairs and recliners)
Sofa (7 piece sectional, southwestern pastel colors, from Luis Shanks)
Table lamps (1 beige pair, 1 pair black)
Bed (king size Serta with metal headboard)
Step ladder (8 ft)
Dinnerware (don't remember the brand, but expensive shit, light blue/grey with blue trim, 12 settings)
Thanks for listening. Further updates to come.
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05:52 pm
[Link] | This is our finance manager at the car lot:
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03:51 pm
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Showgirls
This Saturday at Clare and Ed's annual "Showgirls" party I once again came away the winner of a fabulous prize. This year it was a surprise gift bag from Forbidden Fruit containing Sex Mints, a small rubber ducky (imagine the possibilities!), a candle, lube, and a small battery-powered sex device topped with a pink rubber bear whose arms are raised (as if to grasp a small sensitive body part and wrestle it into submission). In very limited testing the sex bear was pronounced "effective" by both Clare and Devilgrrl (further details are available from the testers). While I'm sure I can put the vibrating bear to good use (my appointment calendar is filling up, ladies, so contact me soon) I'm afraid this prize pales in comparison to last year's grand prize: Clare's panties! . . . they brought $250 on EBay! . . . and who knew Everett had $250?
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09:49 am
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Big Fun in Austin
Hey kids,
If ya need to get out and about in Austin there's big fun happenin' the next couple of nights. Tonight is the kickoff of the Star of Texas Tattoo Arts Revival with the lovely and talented Flametrick Subs at Emo's (joined, of course, by the lovelier and talenteder (?) Satan's Cheerleaders). Friday at the Continental brings this crazy musical lineup: Scott Biram, the Weary Boys, and Honky! OMG, too much fun for the whole family! Be there or be square. Thanks for listening and hope to see you there.
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02:19 pm
[Link] | Just another quiet day like any other in the used-up car business. And then . . . the sudden sound of a crash . . . I look up from the computer screen to see a car accelerating across Burnet Rd. and into our car lot at full speed . . . as I run outside it slams into the mobile home trailer we use as an office trapping the elderly disabled driver. Bottom line: after the arrival of many police, firemen, and EMT personnel the woman is freed and the car is still wedged under our trailer, holding it up. Now back to Tetris!
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09:51 am
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Halloween Redux
Separated at birth? You be the judge.
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05:50 pm
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Halloween
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09:39 am
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Brief Movie Review
In case there were any lingering doubts, I'd like to officially go on record with the following statement: "The Dukes of Hazzard" possibly might be the worst piece of shit movie . . . ever! Ever!!! Thank you for listening . . . you may go on about your day.
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03:28 pm
[Link] | Today's XLent (in the Austin American-Statesman) has a big story on both Roller Derby leagues in Austin. My favorite part is the listing for this Sunday's Lonestar Rollergirls bout: Cherry Bombs vs. (expletive) Del Fuego. Is it me or does "(expletive) Del Fuego" seem like a fairly cumbersome team name? Just wondering.
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